Star Wars Porn Story: Padme and her adventures

Chapter 1

Throne room of Naboo, Queen Amidala is sitting
resplendent in her complicated robes. As the camera runs
around her, we note (unless we are distracted by her
impressive hairdo) that she does not wear any panties. In
fact, her bottom is bare (though a flowing skirt of white
fabric hides her lower legs, so you have to buy the video
and watch it twice to see
it at this point).

One of Amidala’s handmaidens enters. She looks just like
Amidala and so might just be a poster child for the
‘Clone Gals’-Episode. She wears very thin, flimsy robes,
which do not hide her lusty body, but since she is just a
minor character, the camera does not dwell long on her
curves. Still, fan sites about her spring up all over the
net, who later start flame wars with ‘official’ Amidala
fan sites fighting over who is more beautiful and has
cooler action figures. After all, George Fucas’
‘Handmaiden Padme The Other One’-figure even has a nice
plastic collar making her look really submissive and
handmaidenish when she wears it.

Well, anyway: ‘Padme The Other One’ bows before her queen
and announces that two Jedi have arrived who are coming
her to protect her from the dark forces of the Evil Porn
Trade Federation.

A door sighs open dramatically (which has cost about half
a million Dollars from the CGI-Budget which should better
instead have been spent to digitally remove the nose hair
visible on that alien in scene 45). Two Jedi in long,
simple robes enter the throne room.

Qui-Dong (bows): Your majesty! I am Qui-Dong, Jedi
master, and this here is my paddawan, Anakid Skyfucker.

Queen Amidala (rubbing her bottom on the masturbation
ridge set into her throne): Oh, that’s nice. Does that
mean you’re banging him?

Qui-Dong (smiles enigmatically): Only when no beautiful
lady like you is around.

Queen Amidala (smiles lustily): You Jedi. Always quick
with your words – or with your lightsabers. You could
fuck one of my handmaidens if you want, only that it
would be me in disguise. I do that a lot in these movies.
Its such an amusing plot device and it allows you to bang
just about anyone.

Thinking of plot devices: Speak young paddawan! You look
like George Fucas gave you an important line, which
sounds like shit but is immensely important for the
story.

Anakid Skyfucker: Uh, ah… Actually I just want to fuck
you.

Queen Amidala (laughs, but in a nice way. We see her tits
sway under her robe): Sure. But I fear I have to refuse
you.

Anakid Skyfucker (angry): Why? Everyone is fucking you!

Queen Amidala: Yes. Of course – I have to ‘get my rocks
off’ too, after all! But they’re minor characters in our
love story. It’s too early in the movie for us to have
sex.

Anakid Skyfucker (even angrier, grabbing his crotch where
we see the bulge of a mighty, active lightsaber in his
pants): No! I want to fuck you right now. The power of
the Fuck is strong in me!

Qui-Dong (slaps him lightly): Remember your manners
Anakid! Do I have to pour ice water down your pants
again?

Anakid Skyfucker (sheepishly): No master.

Qui-Dong: And anyway, she’s your daughter. Oh, no, wait,
that was the other movie, that other chick who looks just
like her, though she’s played by Carrie Fischer, instead
of Natalie Portman.

Queen Amidala: Leia’s one hot babe too, as well. I copied
my hairdos from her, you know? I still think she didn’t
have enough nudity in her movies, however. She should
have been banging that Wookie all the time!

Qui-Dong: Anyway, Anakid, fucking or not fucking Amidala
here is a deep moral dilemma for you. For you must know:
She is your future wife.

Anakid Skywalker: How sick!

Qui-Dong: Beware of the seduction of the Dark Side of the
Fuck! It lures you with easy promises, offers to get you
off easy. But sometimes, you just have to do what you
have to do!

Queen Amidala: Could we just finish that part? I’m
getting irritated, since no one has boned me for over a
scene now. You’ve wanted to say you are going to protect
me from…?

Qui-Dong: The Evil Porn Trade Federation.

Queen Amidala: Oh! You are sure? They made me some very
good offers to star in a couple bukkake movies. But I had
to decline. Getting all the cum out of my impressive
hairdo’s takes a lot of time offstage, and I can’t stand
that! They’ve been after me since then.

Qui-Dong: Exactly. And they are Democrats too. That’s why
we have been sent by the G.O.P. (the Grand Ole Phuckers,
also known as the Jedi Council) to take you away from
this planet. We will be going to some places from the
original movies, fuck around some, and eventually get
back here.

Queen Amidala: That sounds fine. I could use some sex
right now.

Qui-Dong: And it gives Anakid here more chances to get
all hot over you while secretly wanking off to your
publicity centerfold photos.

Queen Amidala: Make sure he gets the one where I’m all
bent over the throne! The Jedi leave the throne room. We
see Amidala being approached by an otherwise unimportant
bodyguard officer who is obviously hung like a horse. The
camera fades as we hear Amidala shouting things like
“Yeah, you bastard! Give it to me! Deeper!” and “Oh! The
possibilities for cross-merchandising!”

Chapter 2

The camera opens onto a shot of Coruscants skyline. It’s
a mighty piece of CGI, which the author of these lines
would like to have hanging on his wall. and it just gets
better in Episode II. But this here is a porn story, so
the camera moves on to the Senate of the Republic, this
one huge bowl-shaped building with all the floating small
bowls.

Queen Amidala stands in one of the small bowls, giving a
lecture to the senate. She wears a cool bodice, which
pushes, up her already pert little breasts. One of her
handmaidens can be seen to rub her pussy through a slit
in her robes if you look closely. She is splendid, a
tight, recently fucked aristocratic young girl who is
obviously teetering on the brink of another orgasm, but
is valiantly striving to do her duty despite the big
hairdo and the weird makeup.

Queen Amidala: Dear Senators…

George Fucas: Hey, you’re ‘Senator Amidala’ now!

Senator Amidala: Oh, sorry. I’m just too turned on by all
this. Do you realize that billions of people all over the
Republic are watching this video right now?

George Fucas: Right. And some millions of people on
Earth.

Senator Amidala: Oh, the cross-merchandising
possibilities!

George Fucas: Exact. Amidala Parfums, Amidala Gowns,
Amidala Commemorative Plates…

Senator Amidala: Huh? I thought we’d do something
naughty?

George Fucas: Well, we haven’t reached the part yet were
I’m going to let them build an army of your clones.

Senator Amidala: Oh! Well, better not say anything about
that then. Foreshadowing was always your strength,
George!

Audience: Could we just get on? We want to hear her
speech!

George Fucas: Pshaw. You want to see Natalie’s boobs! And
so do I. That’s why I cast her for the role. That and
because she looks a little like Carrie Fisher. Show us
your boobs, Natalie, eh – Amidala!

Senator Amidala: Later. Dear Senators! I come here before
you to plead my case now. The Evil Porn Trade Federation
is really making a nuisance out of themselves, even
though they have strange speech patterns almost as bad as
those of my own native Gungans…They want an exclusive
right to my new line of Naboo porn videos: ‘Naboo
Nethers’, ‘1000 and 1 Handmaidens’ and ‘Amateur Queens’.
And because I do not want to give it to them, they have
declared a Sex Embargo on me and my people.

The Senate: Ooooooh! The Shame. But we can’t do anything.
We are too occupied wanking off!

Senator Amidala: This is an outrage. My lips quiver in
indignation. *I* can wank off and still do my duty. I’m
really pissed off with you. And to show this, I’m going
to piss right here into my floating bowl. Is the camera
positioned right?

Okay. Here I go. Amidala brushes aside her robes and we
see her trimmed bush and pussy. She squats lightly and
releases a yellow stream of warm piss into the floating
bowl. She moans delightedly, but also tragically.

The Senate: The OUTRAGE! Can we get a closer camera
angle?

George Fucas: I know this is going to disappoint many of
you. You’re going to say: “Well, it was a really nice
movie up to then. Random sex, lewd comments, strange plot
devices. And then she has to go and piss all over it. Is
this the fetish channel?” And I’m going to say to you:
“Fuck off!” This is my movie, my vision, and it is really
popular with the younger watchers, so I’m not going to
cut it from the movie. I don’t do test screenings anyway.

Qui-Dong: Now we are going to another planet. Tatooine
this time. It’s a bit out of sequence, especially as we
are going to add other scenes from Tatooine from other
Episodes, but bear with us. Maybe Anakid is going to shag
the Queen
about soon.

Anakid Skyfucker (peeved): No. I am not going to fuck her
until the second episode – maybe only in the third one.

Qui-Dong: God, you’re difficult. You’re going to be my
death some day.

Anakid Skyfucker: No, that would make you Obi-Wan
Kemosabe.

Qui-Dong: Right you are. So I’m gonna be him from now on.
I’m just a carbon copy of him anyway. And I get to die
later this way.

Anakid Skyfucker: Yes, and its going to be me who does
you in. You are going to be relegated to a hologrammic
existence for several episodes. That will serve you right
for disturbing me with that barmaid on Somewhere IV. The
Fuck was with me that night, and you blew it!

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: You have much to learn, young paddawan.
And you are so impatient.

Audience: Yeah, we too! We want to see him fucking
Natalie Portman!

Chapter 3

A shot over the desert planet Tatooine. Amidala stands
next to a very costly spaceship, which unlike most other
intergalactic spaceships in these movies actually looks
as if it has enough space inside for a bathroom and is
somewhat
larger than a motorcycle sidecar.

Refugee Amidala: Why did we have to flee again?

Qui-Dong: Because the Evil Jango Futt is trying to fuck
you up your ass.

Refugee Amidala: Weren’t you supposed to be Obi-Wan
Kemosabe?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Sorry.

Refugee Amidala: And why does the skirt of my robe keep
blowing up?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: I guess because they want to give the
audience another peek at your bush. Maybe you should
shave it. That would look nice. Like a little girl’s.

Refugee Amidala: Not that early in the movie, you old
leech. Anyway I *am* supposed to be a little girl. Well,
young woman anyway. Inexperienced and everything. So what
do we do now? I’ve already met Anakid in this story, and
I
don’t like pod races.

George Fucas: But the cross-merchandising possibilities!

Refugee Amidala: Fuck off. There’s no sex in pod racing.

George Fucas: Maybe we could arrange for two-seater…

Refugee Amidala (pissed): Fuck you, I said. I think it
would be much better if I got captured by Tusken Raiders
right about now (Several Tusken Raiders whizz by on some
strange kind of adrenaline-pumped riding animal. They
grab Amidala by the hair and drag her out of the frame in
a mere second).

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Ouch. That gotta hurt!

George Fucas: And it wasn’t even in my plot!

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Tough luck. Anakid!

Anakid Skyfucker (saunters up, looking brooding): Yeah,
what now?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Why do you look so brooding? Oh, I
understand. You are worried about Amidala.

Anakid Skyfucker: Actually, I look that way because I’m
starting to slide over to the Dark Side of the Fuck right
about now. I’m being paid to look this wooden while doing
it.

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Well, you *should* worry about Queen
Amidala. She’s getting raped by smelly Tusken Raiders
about now.

Anakid Skywalker: So? Do we get to see it?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Of course not. This is a popcorn family
movie.

Anakid Skywalker (looking bored): Then why bother?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Well, I knew you would shirk your
duties, you lazy impatient coward. You are just afraid to
find out that the Tusken Raiders have bigger lightsabers
than you do. Amidala will love sucking ’em.

Anakid Skywalker (getting really, really furious,
whipping his lightsaber from his trousers): So? Bigger
ones they think they have? Show them the Dark Side of the
Fuck, I will! (storms off after the raiders)

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Has he been fucking around with Yoda
again?

Chapter 4

We see a Tusken camp in the light of several moons. From
afar, the lusty sounds of fucking can be heard, cries of
“Yeah, you bastard! Give it to me!”, “Deeper!” and “Oh!
The possibilities of interracial sex!”

As Anakin comes closer, his lightsaber proud and ready,
he hears the squishing, squeaking sounds getting weaker,
until they stop. He enters a tent by poking it with his
erect lightsaber. Inside, we see Amidala, bent over and
tied to some kind of wooden frame.

She is fully naked. Her nice hairdo has been rudely used
to tie her head back into a somewhat strained position,
but there is a blissfully exhausted look on her face.
Mesmerized, Anakid stares at her ass and pussy, both
gaping wide
open, leaking Tusken raider semen.

C3PO (appearing from off-screen): This is not acceptable,
Mistress Amidala!

Raped Amidala (woozy): The hell it isn’t. Those Tusken
can really fuck!

C3PO (electronically shocked): But this is full-frontal
nudity! Well, full backside nudity anyway. We can’t show
that in a family movie. At least stop that cum flowing
from your holes.

Raped Amidala (wistful): Well, I can’t. I’m tied up right
now, you know.

C3PO (looking shamefaced, as only a robot without real
facial expressions can): Oh! I hadn’t noticed that. I’m
just a protocol droid. I’m not yet programmed with those
new S/M-variants, you know.

Raped Amidala (bored): Yeah, yeah. Untie me please. I’m
getting tired here, and I need my hands to rub my pussy,
you know. I also believe it is soon time for me to change
my title again.

C3PO moves forward, but Anakid, fumingly silent so far
(as in ‘very silent but about to show that he’s not a
happy camper’) cuts him off.

Anakid Skyfucker: Hey, droid, get away from her! I don’t
care if you’re ‘fully functional’. I’m gonna fuck her
now!

Raped Amidala: No you don’t. We have got to flee now.

Anakid Skyfucker: Ah, shit! Can’t someone take me
seriously and let me do what I want? I am going to be the
biggest Jedi ever, and I want to shove my throbbing
lightsaber up your pink snatch! I wanna, wanna, wanna!

Raped Amidala: Later maybe. I love you, kind of, but I’m
not going to tell you until chapter 7. So untie me,
someone. We have got to leave. The Stargate will be
closing soon.

Anakid Skyfucker: Oh well, I have given up on disagreeing
with you. Uh? The… the ‘Stargate’? I didn’t know that
Goerge Fucas had the rights to that one!

Freed Amidala (massaging her wrists and pussy): He
doesn’t. That’s why it’s going to be closed soon. We have
to go to Geonosis so we can get into a real big fuckup in
the droid factory. I’m going to have sex with tentacled
horror.

Anakid Skyfucker: Oh well. But I’m still angry. You go
ahead. Use the Fuck to keep the Stargate open or
something. I will show those Tusken Raiders what a
lighstaber is like. Including the men and children.

C3PO: Better censor that last bit.

Anakid Skyfucker: I’m evil. Deal with it.

Chapter 5

We see Amidala and Anakid tumbling through a closing
Stargate portal into a crowded factory, which at the same
time looks a bit like the interior of a Death Star,
depending on which set the characters are in right then.

Anakid Skyfucker: Whew. That was as close and tight as
the asshole of a Mos Eisly whore!

Freed Amidala: So? You better watch your words around me.
I’m Lady Amidala again now. Look at me, I’m wearing a
white cape, and you can see my nipples through the
spandex suit I wear under it.

Anakid Skyfucker (touches and twiddles one of her nipples
through the fabric): Yeah. And that’s pretty nice. I’m
getting all turned on again. Lets fuck.

Lady Amidala (moaning as he touches her, then backing
off): Anakid! You know this isn’t right. At least not
yet. We still have to go through a harrowing separation.

Anakid Skyfucker: We aren’t even married yet!

Lady Amidala: Sigh. I mean I have to go with Han here, to
keep my appointment with that thing in the garbage chute.
You know, from the other episode. Only that this time its
going to do *me* and its going to be X-rated.

Anakid Skyfucker: So I’m going to miss the best part
again! I think you are trying to cheat me. And what is
Han Sucko doing here anyway? He is not supposed to be in
this episode!

Lady Amidala: He needed the money. He has to pay off
Jabba the Butt so he agreed to come again.

Han Sucko: I’m good at coming.

Lady Amidala (putting Han Sucko’s arm around her so that
he squeezes her tit): Yeah, and he had such a hard time
getting the girl in the first trilogy that I’m going to
show him how its done on Naboo. So be a good boy, Anakid
and go that way, we will go this way.

Anakid Skyfucker: Fuck.

Chapter 6

Amidala and Sucko slink down a corridor, trying to hide
from highly sophisticated surveillance gear by walking on
tiptoes. Stopping at a corner, Amidala kneels down to
look around the bend. Sucko goes down behind her and
slips his hand inside her trousers, rubbing her clit from
down behind.

Padme: Oooh, that’s good.

Han Sucko: Ain’t you Lady Amidala anymore? You change
clothes awfully fast, Lady.

Padme: You bet. I’m just Padme to those I let fuck me.

Han Sucko (pulling her trousers down over her ass):
Hehee! Well, bet that looser Skyfucker doesn’t call you
Padme.

Padme (dropping down on her hands, rising her bare ass up
to Han’s questing lightsaber): No, but he’s kind of cute.
I guess I will allow him to knock me up soon.

Han Sucko (showing his member deep into Padme’s ass,
making her squeal): So? I’ll never understand women.

Padme: Ouch. That hurt. You could have at least fingered
me there before you shoved that Wookie-sized thing inside
me. Yeah, deeper! Well, you see, I think two more
children will make for some nice incest options. I’m all
for fucking the shit out of Carrie Fisher, especially if
she is my daughter.

Han Sucko: I can’t agree more. Fucking both generations
is just in my alley. I’m known to be a fearsome guy with
the lightsaber, a knight without reproach, so to speak.
(hesitates a moment) Uh oh, here come the security
droids. That’s it for me. You are not paying me enough
for that (he exists off screen, leaving Padme just at the
brink of an orgasm, and very much fuming at the
interruption).

Strange White skinned Animal: Hey, you droids! Can you
help me get off? I really need it right now!

Security Droid: This is very irregular.

Strange White skinned Animal: Yeah, whatever. You got a
nice manipulator-arm there. Mind fisting me? I could
arrange some really good datalink porn for you in return!

Security Droid: I think I will just drop this down the
garbage chute (lifts Amidala up, gripping her left foot.
She dangles in the air, semi-nude, her arms waving and
her other leg splayed to the side. Even in this desperate
situation, she always manages to keep at least one hand
frantically rubbing her clit, showing that she’s a real
Naboo woman).

Amidala (falling down a garbage chute): Damn. At least
I’m going to get some *real* stuffing right about now.
She falls into a big garbage pile composed mostly of
clothing, used bedsheets and used condoms. She intently
awaits the arrival of the ‘tentacled horror who rapes
little queens’ (as her mum told her). It doesn’t come.
She waits a little longer, getting intensely frustrated.
Finally she occupies her time by sucking the cum from the
various used condoms and trying to identify the species.

Amidala (smacking her lips): Hmmmh! That one was
definitely Wookie. Strong and spicy. But (*sigh*), I
really would like to get fucked by something big now.
Anybody here to help me?

C3PO (calling over the comlink): Mistress Amidala? Is
that you?

Amidala: C3PO! Bless your steel hard lightsaber! Can you
help me?

C3PO: Yes, of course. Just wait, I’m going to come down
and give you the boning – eh, the intercourse – of your
life!

Amidala: Don’t be silly. I need something *real*. Open
the doors that connect the garbage chute to the
‘tentacled horror’ playroom. Come’on, I really need it. I
have not hinted at my nymphomaniac nature all the movie
for nothing!

C3PO ‘plugs’ himself into the computers (who needs
astrogator droids if you have an electric lightsaber)
and, quite peeved, opens the necessary connections. While
he fumes, sound drifts in over the intercom: “Yeah, you
bastard! Give it to me!”, “Deeper!” and “Oh! The
possibilities of being fucked airtight in all ho….
mmmmmphhhh!”

C3PO: Oh well, if the bitch wants to be mean to me, lets
see how she likes a little pressure (he switches on the
garbage pile press and walks away).

Chapter 7

We see Anakid Skyfucker wandering along the empty
corridors. His lightsaber is out, but obviously not at
the ready. His brooding face is rather self-indulgent,
kind of like a little boy who wants to go podracing but
is forced to stay home, or like a young Jedi who is not
allowed to fuck his queen’s cunt.

Finally he remembers that he’s inside an enemy
stronghold, and whacks a Stormtrooper over the
head/helmet as he comes around the corner. For once not
thinking impulsively with his lightsaber, the young
Anakid begins undressing the Stormtrooper to take his
armor. He finds out that its in fact a pretty blonde
women with nice curves.

Anakid Skyfucker: Well, if that isn’t a sign. Fuck
Amidala – for now. I’m going to have some fun with this
Empire soldier (he begins to pull down her Stormtrooper
(TM) panties)! Suddenly a holographic vision appears next
to him.

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Anakid! What did I tell you about not
fucking around with the enemy?

Anakid Skyfucker: Hey, why do you always spoil my fun!
It’s enough for a man to lose his lightsaber energy. And
you’re not dead yet anyway, so what are you doing here?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: You are not ready for the Dark Side of
the Fuck just yet. Anyway, you’d be fucking one of your
future employees if you do her, so cut it out!

Anakid Skyfucker: Okay, okay, that wouldn’t be ethical, I
agree. But what do I have to do to get laid around here?
Become some kind of dark-armored creep with a strange
wheezing voice or what?

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: That would be a good idea. Bet you
could impress your daughter Leia with it. She really
liked you, back in the old – eh, the new, the later…
those episodes. She just wouldn’t let you on how hot and
wet she was for a big guy named ‘Darth’.

Anakid Skyfucker: Yeah, but its kinda hard waiting.

Obi-Wan Kemosabe: Then put on that armor and follow my
directions to the cell block. Anakid puts on the
Stormtrooper uniform made of high-impact plastic, which
never stopped a laser beam in any episode, but looks
really cool. He then makes his way to the cell block,
exchanging dirty handsigns with the guards who assume he
is just ‘going to have some fun’. He enters the cell
where Prisoner Amidala is held. She is lying on a bench,
her long white robes unstained and virginal (Yeah, right,
are we talking about the same person?).

Prisoner Amidala: Huh? Who are you? That young and
already with the Stormtroopers?

Anakid Skyfucker: Huh? Oh, the helmet. It’s me, Anakid.
And stop calling me little, small, young or anything like
that. I have the biggest lightsaber this side of the Dark
Side of the Fuck!

Prisoner Amidala: Ah, yes, I should have read the new
script. I was expecting Lukie Skyfucker, our son. I guess
this is a good moment for me to tell you that I love you.

Anakid Skyfucker: You do? I never asked for that. I just
wanted to fuck you.

Prisoner Amidala: Well, you can’t get the one without the
other. I’m a very traditional girl when I’m not on a
nymphomaniac binge. I’m now going to give you a proof of
our everlasting relationship.

Anakid Skyfucker: You are going to kiss me?

Prisoner Amidala: Of course not, Anakid. You have such
quaint, provincial attitude! Must come from you being
born on Tatooine. No. I’m going to give you a good
blowjob (she pulls opens his Stormtrooper genital cup).

Anakid Skyfucker: Well, I’m not going to complain. But I
wonder if you will do it as well as mom.

Audience: God, Incest everywhere. We are disgusted. What
next?

Prisoner Amidala (running her red lips sensuously over
Anakids growing lightsaber, then sucking it deeply into
her mouth, moving her slurping lips back and forth over
it, etc…): Mmmmmhhh, Slurrrrrppppp. Delichous….

Anakid Skyfucker: Anyway, how did you escape the garbage
press?

Prisoner Amidala: Oh, shad wash eashy (*Slurp*). When in
dansher, my boobiesh can grow to twishe (*Yummm*) their
sishe. It’s a Naboo thing. Looksh a bit ridiculous, like
having two shmall melonsh (*Slurp*) on your chest, but it
kept the wallsh apart long enough for C3PO to get over
hish huff. Now be a good (*Slurp*) boy and enjoy thish.

Anakid Skyfucker: Ohh, that’s good! Well, now I know why
you keep your hair styled in buns over your ears like
that (he grabs her by the hair). Really helps with
pushing you back and forth on my tool (starts fucking her
face in earnest).

Prisoner Amidala: Mmmmmmhh, canmmmt breathhheeee… (gets
brutally chokefucked) If you keep thish (*Urgs*) up I’m
gonna be dead (*Choke*) by Episode IV!

Anakid Skyfucker: No need to breathe! I am sensing a
strong disturbance in the Fuck! I’m about to blast off!
He cums violently, spurting big amounts of warm semen
into Amidala’s belly. As he finally withdraws slowly,
still leaking large amounts of cum, Amidala chokes and
sputters a bit at first, but then starts smearing the
sticky white stuff all over her face and breasts, which
are gratuitously visible through her sweat-stained silk
blouse.

Anakid Skyfucker: Why do you do that, Padme? May I call
you Padme?

Padme Amidala: Sure, Anakid. And its good for the skin,
that’s why I spread your cum all over my face. Plus it
makes the scene longer, thus giving George Fucas more
time to come up with ideas for what to do in Episode III.

Anakid Skyfucker: Well, I know what I am going to do now.
I’m going to knock you up with twins now! The camera
fades. We hear Anakids grunts and Amidala’s moans: “Yeah,
you bastard! Give it to me!”, “Deeper!” and “Oh! The
possibilities of being impregnated by the Dark Side of
the Fuck!”